pokemod | "Let's Trade" by Memorialrainbow for Axolotl

Recipient: axolotl
Title: Let's Trade
Author: memorialrainbow
Rating: PG
Verse: Games, gen VI
Characters/Pairings: Serena/Shauna
Summary: Serena and Shauna meet on the first night of winter to discuss just who they are.
Content Notes: None
Author's Notes: Oh God I hope this is okay. This was the idea I got when I read the prompts, so I ran with it. I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you like it as well.

The snow is so thick that Serena can't even see a meter in front of her own face.

She hasn't even been in Lumiose five minutes and she knows the news reports weren't lying. The snow piles up in drifts against the buildings. The Skiddo are sleeping inside the Pokemon Center, safe from the cold yet still waiting. The Juice Shoppe owner is working with the owner of the Poke Ball Boutique to clear the sidewalks out in front. Serena considers it a miracle that they're still open in this weather.

She knows the invitation had been made days, maybe weeks, ago. But did it have to be such a coincidence to be invited to Lumiose on the same night as the biggest snowstorm in decades?

She clutches her hat to her head and tries her best to watch where she's stepping. Her dark black coat barely protects her from the elements, one step in front of the other. Her hair and coat whip about as she makes her way centimeter by centimeter toward her destination, toward the heart.

To be honest, she had always thought Shauna had a thing for Calem. Mostly because she always talked about him, and because they had both showed up on her doorstep at the same time, so long ago. According to Shauna, she had confessed to Calem once, but had been rejected; it hadn't ruined the friendship, though.

Each one of Serena's Kalos friends had their goal they were striving for. Tierno had his dance team. Trevor had the Pokedex. Calem was always following in his parents' footsteps, wanting to be a better battler. And Shauna -- Shauna had the most to lose. As Trevor revolved around his Pokedex, Shauna revolved around her friends. When the boys each went their own separate ways, off to fulfill their goals, Shauna needed something -- someone -- to fill that void.

"I'll never forget these fireworks. 'Cause I watched them with you. I never ever want to forget this, so I'll keep this memory in an album in my heart!" Looking back, Serena knows that's the moment their relationship changed. No longer was she on the outside of the group looking in. She was Shauna's only female friend. She was the one who filled the void, whom Shauna kept in contact with the most and talked about everything with. Even on a bad day, she could call Shauna using her Holo Caster and go on and on for hours about this battle or that clothing purchase, and Shauna would listen uninterrupted.

At first, it made Serena feel more at home in Kalos. The boys were nice, but it was welcome having a best girl friend to gossip and check up with. It won't be until much later that Serena will learn the truth: that she was much more than a person to fill the hole in Shauna's emptied heart. She was the goal in itself. The constant visits and battles full of spirit and trades were more than just friendship. They were a courtship of sorts, the beginnings to a bigger and grander relationship that Serena would never see coming.

Despite the snowstorm, Prism Tower is still lit up, a lighthouse beacon for those stuck in the cold.

Serena finds her way inside, dries herself off, gives her coat to the attendant. Even the lobby is still chilly, the glass doors not much protection from the cold. Bonnie asks her the usual questions, how her Pokemon are, has she seen anything interesting or battled anybody worthy of her brother's hand in marriage recently. And then, "You know Shauna's already here waiting for you."

It's not what Serena wants to hear. The name makes her heart warm again, the snowstorm forgotten. "I figured. Is she on the top level?"

For a moment, she's hoping that the top will be closed because of the snow, but then, "Of course! You wanna go on up?"

Serena had always been too busy to consider what her motives were, much less her own identity. First she was busy with attempting Rhyhorn racing in her old hometown; then the move; and then it was trying to save the world without getting burnt to a crisp by Team Flare. But once the Honor of Kalos was pinned to her hat, she had time to sit and find her own goals for the first time in years.

The others were fine; Calem was still traveling and battling, Trevor was halfway to filling his Pokedex, and there were talks of Tierno and his dance team opening up for a concert all the way in Virbank in Unova. And then there was Shauna, who had somehow permanently taken up residence in Serena's house.

Serena was always out catching Pokemon or battling at the Chateau or traveling with League business, but she made a point to come home almost every night. And, alongside her mother, Shauna would be making salads or sandwiches or soup, tasting it every few minutes to make sure it was just right. She would take Serena's coat and hang it up and turn the television on, making sure it was to a program of her liking. When Serena's mom would disappear upstairs, Shauna would listen about Serena's day and offer her own suggestions on how to tackle her problems.

It started with just dinner. Then, Shauna's visits extended to the end of the night. Some time later, Shauna would start to sleep over on the couch, awake and ready to help Serena get out the door in the morning. Before long, Serena was hoping that Shauna would start sleeping in her bedroom with her. She imagined what would happen if she came home late one night and Shauna wasn't snoring on the couch, but instead on a portable mattress in her room, or even in her own bed. Her hair would be out of its normal pigtails, down around her shoulders, caressing the long pink nightgown she sometimes wore. Or maybe she wouldn't have had time to run home and get her own nightgown and she would wear one of Serena's, just too big enough on her that the fabric would slip over her shoulder.

It was a fantasy Serena replayed several times in her mind. No matter how it started, it would always end with Shauna climbing into bed with her, pressing her smaller body against Serena's, snuggling into her chest. And Serena would wrap her arms around the smaller girl and pray it would be enough repayment for all Shauna did for her.

As Shauna laid on the couch one night, asleep, Serena realized that she didn't need to repay Shauna. Shauna acted out of love, because Serena was the only friend she had left. The others were long gone, doing their own thing, and Shauna needed Serena...as a friend.

The evidence lined up in her mind, and Serena fought back a tear as she figured out why she was having these fantasies about her best friend. Without another word, she slipped out of bed, tiptoed downstairs and around Shauna, and threw her clothes back on. Once outside, she Flew to the nearest Pokemon Center and stayed there for the night. She didn't want to run away, but she did need some room.

She couldn't be in love with Shauna and continue to abuse her friend's kindnesses like this.

It had been three weeks since she had been home, avoiding Shauna at all costs. She had called her mother once to explain it would be a while before she would be back in Vaniville, so nobody would worry. She had eventually made her way to Kiloude, a place Shauna couldn't go because she didn't have a train pass. Calem could, though, and he had been the one to deliver Shauna's invitation.

"Please just meet me at the Prism Tower on December 21st? I just want to see you again. I don't know what I did wrong." The words had been written in pink, in Shauna's loopy cursive handwriting.

You didn't do anything wrong, Serena thinks as the elevator crawls up the stories. I was the one in the wrong. I fell in love with you, and you were just trying to be a good friend. You needed me because you didn't have any other friends, and I just kept imagining you as my wife, as a partner.

She bit her lip. I can't do that. I know I love you, but I have to settle this with you. We can't be friends again until I get over this infatuation.

The elevator opens up on the top observation deck.

The frost has taken the deck prisoner, leaving sparkling detail on each glass panel and making a panoramic view impossible. Serena is surrounded by fogged-up panels. In the middle of the ice castle stands Shauna, her hair up in its usual style, a red sweatshirt around her pink bowed tee. Her eyes turn to Serena as the elevator door opens.

For a minute or two, they are both silent. The only noise is the elevator doors closing as it descends back down.

Shauna is the first to speak. "You came."

"That I did."

"You were gone for a really long time. I cooked for you." And it all spills out. "Cinnabar steaks. Lots of them. They're in the freezer. I made your bed. All twelve of your pillows are in their spots. All your clothes are clean. Your mom's worried about you. I'm worried about you."

Serena listens, but she knows what Shauna's really saying: please come home. "Shauna, you know you don't actually live at my house, right?"

"Huh? Oh, I know. I just like staying at your place because we're best friends. But, you know, it's hard to be best friends if you're never home and you don't answer your calls."

"Shauna." Serena's not sure how to proceed. "I don't think we're just friends."

The worry does not leave Shauna's eyes. "What do you mean? We're friends, right? That's why you came here. Because you wanted to see me again. I was really worried you weren't gonna come, because, you know, you, like, dropped off the face of the earth and I didn't hear anything from you."

Serena takes a deep breath. "I came here because I wanted to see you, yes, but there's more to it than that." She looks at the ground. How does she even begin to explain? Does Shauna even know who she's become? That she's been enticing Serena since the very beginning, that Serena has fallen under her spell?

Strong, small dark arms encircle around Serena's neck, and the flurry of thoughts is thrown aside. Shauna's voice is shaky as she hugs Serena close. "There doesn't have to be m-more to it than that. I just...wanted it to be you and me. Whatever that is. I'll leave you alone if that's what you want --"

"No, that's not what I want." Serena searches for the words to say. She lets herself stay in Shauna's hold, because at least that way she won't have to look into her eyes. "I want you over, I want you as my friend, but I don't want to take advantage of your kindness. That's all I mean. You're at my house every night, Shauna. You -- you do everything for me."

"Of course I do. I'm your best friend."

"Best friends don't cook and clean. Moms do that." Wives do that.

"Well, maybe I want to do that."

"You're not my mom."

"I know that, silly!"

"Look." Serena somehow finds the strength to look into Shauna's eyes. "Shauna. I know you were really good friends with Calem and Tierno and Trevor for a long time. And I know they all left to go on their own adventures, and I'm kind of the only friend you have around. But there are other ways to express that friendship than taking care of me. Shauna...will you trade Pokemon with me again? You remember how you traded me Froabble after I came home?" He is a Frogadier now, and Serena Surfs on him when she's out exploring.

There are tears in Shauna's eyes now. "Why?"

"Because every time I'm with Froabble, I remember you. And I want to remember you all the time. I want us both to be happy with our friendship."

Shauna is quiet for a moment. Then she steps back from the taller girl. "Serena, I don't think we can be happy together."

Her heart drops. "What do you mean?"

"I...I think we want different things from this." And Serena finally notices what she never did before: the blush on Shauna's face, the way she no longer maintains eye contact, the secret she has kept tight through every gift of domesticity.

Serena doesn't fill the void. Serena is the goal.

"No." And then there is a smile on Serena's face and tears rushing down, falling on the floor like frozen snowflakes. "No, no no no no, we want the same thing. I want you back in my home, Shauna. I want you back in my life. I want you to make dinner and take my coat and snuggle next to me and watch TV and not go home at night. I want to be happy with you. I know I ran away. But I'm here now. Doesn't that count for something?"

Shauna looks confused. "I thought you said friends don't do that. You want me to be your mom?"

Serena giggles. "I don't think you understand. Can we still trade?" she asks, an idea forming in her head.

Shauna gives a small smile, still confused. "Sure, I guess. What do you suggest?"

"My heart for yours." Serena stretches out her hand to the smaller girl. "Shauna, will you accept this trade?"

She waits for Shauna's mind to register what she's suggesting, and then the smile Serena is rewarded with is enough to restore her happiness. And when Shauna jumps back into her arms, she holds her as if she's never going to let go.

Serena comes through the front door later than usual the next night. Shauna waits in her living room with a freshly made Pomeg Berry salad. Last night's smile has not yet left her face.

As they watch television, Shauna asks if Serena is her boyfriend. They laugh, and yes, that's what it seems like, but maybe not exactly. Serena tells Shauna she can be whoever Shauna wants her to be, at which point Shauna spends the rest of the night on Serena's shoulder, their hands linked.

They share the same bed that night. Shauna falls asleep easily, and Serena watches over her before placing a kiss on her forehead and descending into the peaceful night.